Etiquette for the New Vampire

Welcome back to the Vampire Dating Series. In previous posts, we’ve tackled the decision-making process involved in choosing whether or not to date a vampire. We’ve discussed the pros and cons of vampire dating so you can make an informed decision. We’ve also covered some helpful vampire dating tips which I hope you’ve found useful.

Today, we’re jumping ahead a bit and looking forward to a time where you’ve already convinced your vampire friend to grant you the gift of immortality.

Now, that you can live forever, life should be easy right? Wrong. There are challenges ahead as you learn to navigate your way through your newly obtained immortality. Your nocturnal existence doesn’t have to be difficult. Fortunately, I’ve compiled a list of helpful tips to ease your way.

Here are a few rules for the newly transformed vampire:

  • Never feed on people you know. Not only is it bad etiquette, but it could be incriminating as well, especially if you choose to snack on your ex-boyfriend or that girl who got you in trouble in History class.
  • Don’t play with your food. Your victim is sustenance, not entertainment. Make the kill and go home. On the flipside of this rule, don’t be friends with a human one minute, and make them into a meal the next. Now that you’re a vampire, you have to make some tough choices. Friend or food—you decide.
  • Clean up after yourself. If you leave your table scraps strewn about in dark alleys, not only will you bring trouble on yourself, but you’ll risk aggravating other vampires in the area. Don’t draw attention to your hunting ground. Keep the environment clean and free of evidence. Like they say in the Cub Scouts: Leave No Trace.
  • Don’t dress in black all the time. If you’re hunting, it’s fine to dress the part, but don’t overdo it. Just because you’re a vampire doesn’t mean you can’t vamp it up. Wear a flirty dress! Accessorize with rhinestones. Dare to be darling.
  • If immortality was your idea, you owe some loyalty to the person who gave it to you. Don’t badmouth your sire to other vamps, don’t feed on any humans they might hold in high regard, don’t leave blood-drained corpses lying around their castle. A little commonsense and common courtesy go a long way. Remember the golden rule!
  • Be careful who you recruit. If you’re considering granting someone the gift of immortality, ask yourself a few questions first. Do I really want to be with this person for eternity? Those annoying stories they’ve been re-telling for the past five years—do I really want to hear them for another five-thousand? If things go wrong between us, is he or she a grudge-holder? After all, forever is a long time.

Did I miss any tips? Feel free to add your own in the comments section.

5 thoughts on “Etiquette for the New Vampire

  1. I'm really not into vampire stuff but I have to admit I found this post rather entertaining. I would not want to be a vampire. Aren't they undead though rather than immortal? Immortals can't die or be destroyed but vampires can be destroyed by stake, silver bullets etc.


  2. Depends on the type of vampire, Melanie. In Anne Rice's series, vampires could be destroyed by sunlight, but Lestat became so strong, he achieved an immortal state. Vampires are immortal in that they do not grow old and could theoretically live forever if not felled by physical trauma (stake to the heart, fire, sun, exposure to my bad cooking, etc). The creepy vamps of yore are undead; today's sexy vamps are different. So many vampire legends, so little time to explore them all….


  3. I love the mindless, gore fixated Vamps of old, to be honest. The ones that act like Zombies but are fleeter of foot and thrice as strong.
    Give me a splatter fest any day to a romantic fop who seduces before he dines, lol 🙂


  4. Pingback: The Essential Vampyre – A Guide | Celebrating the culture of the Vampire

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